21 Things I Want In a Lover

In her song "21 Things I Want In a Lover," Alanis Morissette lays out a detailed and thoughtful list of qualities she desires in a romantic partner. The lyrics are a blend of introspection and idealism, reflecting her high standards and the depth of her self-awareness. Morissette's list is not just about superficial traits but delves into the essence of what makes a person truly compatible with her. She questions whether her potential lover derives joy from others' success, avoids dirty competition, and possesses intellectual capacity balanced with wisdom. These lines suggest that she values empathy, fairness, and a well-rounded intellect.

The song also touches on more abstract and philosophical qualities. Morissette asks if her lover sees life as an illusion but still enjoys it, indicating a desire for someone who is both grounded and spiritually aware. She values a balance of masculine and feminine traits, political awareness, and a stance against capital punishment. These preferences reveal her progressive and open-minded nature, as well as her desire for a partner who shares similar values and beliefs.

Morissette's lyrics also explore the importance of emotional and physical compatibility. She seeks someone who finds joy in love, is self-deprecatingly funny, adventurous, and opinionated. The song emphasizes that these are not strict requirements but preferred qualities, highlighting her understanding that no one is perfect. She expresses a willingness to wait for the right person, enjoying her solo life in the meantime. This patience and self-assuredness underscore her confidence and independence, making it clear that she values a partner who complements her rather than completes her.