I'm Trying

Alexander Stewart's song 'I'm Trying' delves into the raw and often painful experience of battling mental health issues. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of a person caught in a relentless cycle of emotional turmoil, where even the simplest tasks become insurmountable. The opening lines, 'It's been a week and I can't tell you a thing I did / I can't sleep, all my friends they're worried again,' set the tone for the song, highlighting the protagonist's struggle with inertia and the concern it generates among their loved ones.

The recurring theme of feeling like the 'punchline of some sick joke' and being 'terrified to be alone' underscores the internal conflict and self-deprecating humor often used as a coping mechanism. The protagonist's admission that they are 'just barely surviving' but still 'trying' speaks volumes about the resilience and determination to push through despite the overwhelming odds. This sentiment is further emphasized in the chorus, where the protagonist grapples with violent thoughts and the constant effort to maintain a facade of normalcy.

Stewart's lyrics also touch on the fear of making resolutions and the inability to enjoy life's simple pleasures, as seen in the lines, 'No surprise that I'm not one for resolutions / Even in the best times, I'm too scared to smell the roses.' This reflects a deeper sense of anxiety and the struggle to find joy in the present moment. The repetition of 'I'm trying' throughout the song serves as a powerful mantra, a reminder of the ongoing effort to overcome personal demons and the hope that, despite everything, there is still a will to keep going.