How I Feel
Alexz Johnson
The Hidden Struggles Behind the Spotlight
Alexz Johnson's song "How I Feel" delves into the emotional turmoil and isolation that often accompany fame. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of a life that appears perfect on the surface, with references to a "golden road" and being adored like a "diamond in the sun." However, this facade hides a deeper sense of disconnection and rejection. The artist questions whether people genuinely care about her feelings or if they are merely curious, highlighting the superficial nature of many interactions she experiences.
The chorus reveals the true depth of her emotional struggle. Johnson describes feeling "completely unconnected" and "constantly rejected," as if everything she has ever loved is falling apart. The metaphor of "drowning in emotion" and being in the "middle of the ocean" conveys a sense of overwhelming despair and helplessness. This imagery suggests that despite her outward success, she feels lost and unable to find solid ground.
In the latter part of the song, Johnson touches on the loss of her true self. She mentions living "life undercover" and putting on a "smiling face for the camera," indicating that the person the public sees is not who she truly is. This duality between her public persona and private struggles underscores the high personal cost of fame. The repeated line, "That's how I feel," serves as a poignant reminder of her ongoing battle with these emotions, making the song a powerful commentary on the hidden challenges faced by those in the spotlight.