Denial
Alicia Widar
The Struggle of Facing Reality in Alicia Widar's 'Denial'
Alicia Widar's song 'Denial' delves into the complex emotions of avoiding reality and the internal conflict that comes with it. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of someone who is physically and emotionally lost, lying on the pavement with nowhere to go. This imagery sets the tone for the song, highlighting a sense of aimlessness and confusion. The repeated phrase 'I'm in denial' underscores the protagonist's refusal to confront their circumstances, choosing instead to close their eyes and escape into a world where 'everything [is] blue,' a metaphor for a state of emotional numbness or sadness.
The song captures the paradox of wanting to run away from pain while simultaneously desiring to stay and face it. This duality is evident in lines like 'Running away but wanting to stay,' which reflect the internal tug-of-war between avoidance and confrontation. The protagonist acknowledges their mistakes and the chaos in their life, yet they are unable to break free from the cycle of denial. The mention of not having seen someone in a while and the pain it causes suggests a personal relationship that has contributed to this emotional turmoil.
Widar's lyrics also touch on the theme of self-deception and the difficulty of discerning truth from illusion. The line 'I lost myself, but what can I do? Trust me, I don't know what is true' encapsulates the confusion and helplessness that often accompany denial. Despite the daylight that 'still radiates,' symbolizing hope and clarity, the protagonist remains 'numb' and 'electrified,' caught in a state of emotional paralysis. The song's raw and honest portrayal of denial resonates with anyone who has ever struggled to face their own reality, making it a poignant exploration of human vulnerability.