That Wasn't Me, That Was Patricia
Anna Clendening
The Battle Within: A Journey Through Mental Turmoil
Anna Clendening's song "That Wasn't Me, That Was Patricia" delves deep into the harrowing experience of battling mental illness. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of the artist's internal struggles, particularly during the late hours of the night when the mind is most vulnerable. The opening lines describe the terrifying sensation of being trapped in one's own head, with the room spinning and a sense of suffocation taking over. This imagery effectively conveys the overwhelming nature of panic attacks and severe anxiety.
The song continues to explore the theme of mental anguish, with Clendening expressing a sense of hopelessness and desperation. The repeated mention of silence being the loudest thing in her head highlights the paradoxical nature of mental illness, where the absence of external noise amplifies the internal chaos. The voices in her head, urging her towards self-harm, represent the intrusive and destructive thoughts that often accompany depression. This raw and unfiltered portrayal of mental health struggles is both poignant and relatable, shedding light on the often invisible battles many people face.
In the latter part of the song, Clendening touches on the idea that everyone has their own peculiarities and inner demons. The line "In this day and age aren't we all a little bit strange?" suggests a collective experience of mental health challenges, emphasizing that these struggles are not unique to the individual but are part of a broader human experience. The repeated refrain about jumping from a window sill serves as a stark reminder of the dangerous allure of escape when one is in the depths of despair. Through her candid lyrics, Clendening not only shares her personal pain but also fosters a sense of solidarity and understanding among listeners who may be grappling with similar issues.