I Was Once Possibly, Maybe, Perhaps a Cowboy King
Asking Alexandria
The Struggle of Identity and Despair in 'I Was Once Possibly, Maybe, Perhaps a Cowboy King'
Asking Alexandria's song 'I Was Once Possibly, Maybe, Perhaps a Cowboy King' delves into themes of identity, despair, and the struggle for self-worth. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of a person who feels lost and disconnected from their past, symbolized by the imagery of waiting by the roadside with nothing but a black bag and the clothes they wear. This sense of anonymity and lack of history underscores a profound existential crisis, where the protagonist sees themselves as a 'monkey in a man suit,' a mere shell of their former self.
The repeated lines 'Lay down your guns, cut me from ear to ear, eye for an eye' evoke a sense of violence and retribution, suggesting a deep-seated pain and desire for release. The metaphor of the 'glass long gone broken' implies that the damage is irreparable, and the protagonist feels beyond saving. This is further emphasized by the recurring plea to be allowed to die, highlighting a struggle with suicidal thoughts and the feeling that scars cannot heal when they are constantly being reopened.
The song's chorus, 'I walk this road alone, no thanks to you,' suggests a sense of betrayal and abandonment. The protagonist feels isolated and unsupported, which exacerbates their feelings of despair. The imagery of loading a six-shot and putting it to their head is a stark representation of their suicidal ideation, reflecting a desire to escape the pain they are enduring. The repetition of these lines throughout the song reinforces the intensity of their emotional turmoil and the cyclical nature of their suffering.
Overall, 'I Was Once Possibly, Maybe, Perhaps a Cowboy King' is a powerful exploration of the struggle for identity and the depths of despair. It captures the feeling of being lost and disconnected, the pain of unhealed wounds, and the desperate desire for release from suffering.