Bad Dreams Rehearsal
Bad News
Colin: Why don't you, er, just, er... sing the words that you had for that, Dennis? I thought
they were frightfully good.
Den: Okay. (Starts to play guitar.) It's quite difficult to sing and play.
Colin: It's a love song, is it? It's very moving.
(Den continues to play.)
Vim: Are those the words then?
Den: No, I'm just getting into it! I'll have to start again now. (Stops playing.)
Colin: Shhhhh! Quiet!
(Den starts playing again.)
Spider: That's the old number we used to do...
Colin: Quiet! Be QUIET!
Vim: It's very Status Quo, isn't it?
Den: (sings) Bad dreams are keeping me awake at night.
Bad dreams, I think I'm gonna turn on the light.
Bad dreams, wish that they'd go away.
Bad dreams, here comes the beast again!
Colin: That's nice.
Vim: What?
Den: Nightmare, ....ing to me all night long.
Nightmare, duh duh duh duh duh strong.
Colin: Some words there, obviously.
Den: Nightmare, duh duh duh... I'll start again.
Colin: What do you think, Vim?
Den: Bad dreams are keeping me awake at night...
Colin: (joining in) Bad dreams are keeping me... turn on the light.
Den: Bad dreams, how long are they gonna go on?
Colin: I don't know...
Den: Nightmare! Look out, here comes the beast again!
Colin: Oooooooohhh! Ouch, bite, bite!
(Den stops playing.)
Vim: And you all like that song, do you?
Colin: Well, we thought it had...
Den: I'll play it again, shall I?
Vim: No, don't...
Den: (Starts playing) Bad dreams...
Vim: No, Den, don't play it again, or I'll break your guitar.
(Den stops playing.)
Colin: Careful, Alan.
Vim: Alright. I think the only bit that's worth salvaging is the bit where you're not playing
the guitar, and you say "Here comes the beast again."
Den: Oh, right, just (sings) "Bad dreams..."
Vim: No! None of that! All that's rubbish. Just "Here comes the beast again" is actually
quite good.
Den: (sings) Here comes the beast again!
Vim: Yeah.
Colin: Yeah, did you notice there was...
Vim: There was the nub of a song in there.
Den: Nightmare! Here comes the beast again!
Vim: No... yeah, that's quite good. If I sang it, that would be quite good.
Den: And you could have, like, screaming on it.
Vin: (sings) Nightmare! Here comes the beast again!
Den: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Like that.
Vim: Have you hurt yourself, Den?
Den: No.
Vim: Oh.
Colin: There was a bit where I did a bit of a scream, a sort of "Uuuuurgh!" thing. Did you
notice that?
Vim: No.
Colin: Well, it was... I thought it was...
Vim: Do you want to give it to me one more time?
Colin: Yes, it comes just after the beast bit, actually...
(Den starts to play again.)
Vim: No! Don't play the fucking music one more time.
Den: (stops playing) I thought you said give it to you one more time?
Vim: No, just his scream.
Den: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
Vim: No, not your scream! Colin's scream!
Colin: No, my come scream... my scream comes after him.
Vim: Oh, alright.
Den: So we'll do mine first.
Colin: Right. Well, why don't you go from...
Den: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
Colin: Den, why don't you go from the verse before that?
Den: Oh no, I was doing it so that you could...
Colin: No, no, but go from the verse before that, then I'll know where I am and what feeling I
have.
(Den starts to play.)
Colin: Nightmare, look out, put on the light again, all that... Yeah, la di la... Sing the
words, sing the words!
Den: (stops playing) Nightmare!
Colin: That's it.
Den: Here comes the beast again! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
Spider: Do you know, I think we might have a... we might get a song together...
Vim: Hang on, hang on...
Den: Oh Spider, that was where his scream was gonna come!
Colin: No, I was actually going to do the scream then, but Spider came in too early.
Vim: Just do it from "Nightmare"...
Den: Nightmare!
Colin: No, well...
Den: Here comes the beast again! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
Colin: I was wanting to go from the verse before that.
Vim: No, you're supposed to scream then, aren't you?
Den: Oh no!
Colin: Yes, but could we go from the verse before? I have to know what kind of feeling I'm in.
Could we just go from the verse... I'm awfully sorry. It won't take much time.
Vim: Alright.
(Den starts again.)
Colin: Nightmare, I'm going to turn on the light again
Nightmare, I'm going to turn...
Den: (stops playing) Here comes the beast again! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
Colin: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuurgh! That's the one I was talking about. What do you think?
Vim: What, that's where you're going to do the scream?
Colin: No, that WAS the scream. And I thought it sounded rather frightening.
Vim: Well... just give it to us solo.
Colin: Well...
Vim: On the count of four.
Colin: No, I don't think I...
Vim: One, two, three, four.
Colin: Alan... I don't think I can just go into it like that. I need the verse... could you
start from the verse before the scream again?
(Den starts again.)
Colin: Nightmare, I'm going to turn on the light again.
Nightmare, here comes the nightmare again... Scream!
I'm going to turn on the light again, nightmare...
Den: (stops playing) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
Colin: And this... there's this...
Spider: (singing quietly) Nightmare... gonna turn on the light again... nightmare, gonna turn it
on again... ye-eah...
Colin: This is awfully funny, but...
Spider: AAAAAARGH!
Colin: Spider, could you... sit up a bit?
Spider: Nightmare, gonna turn it on again... turn on the light again...
Den: Somebody put Spider on his chair.
Colin: Could somebody tap him or something? Er, I'm... Spider, hello!
Spider: Hello!
Colin: Are you alright?
Spider: What?
Colin: Your eyes are sort of... looking in opposite...
(Barely stifled laughter.)
Spider: Nightmare, nightmare... turn the light on again...
Den: Oh no.
Spider: It's good that, innit? I think I'm just getting it. Do you want me to sing this one,
Den?
Den: Okay. (Starts playing.)
Spider: (sings completely out of time) Nightmare, I think I'm going, er, turn, er, turn on the
light again... and I'm gonna, erm, going out, turn on the light again, you know... make
a cup of tea.
Den: (stops playing) Nightmare! Here comes the beast again! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
Colin: Uuuuuuuuurgh! There! I did it again. What do you think?
Vim: I think it's a bloody horrible smell.