California

Beabadoobee's song 'California' delves into the emotional complexities of longing, change, and the struggle to move forward. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of someone spending too much time in California, a place that symbolizes both physical and emotional distance. The protagonist is waiting for a connection, yearning for a call that signifies a return to something familiar. This sense of waiting and longing is palpable, as the lyrics express a desire to be called back, to feel something that has been missing for a long time.

The song also explores the internal battle of wanting to change but finding it difficult. The lines 'Always the same from the inside / Wanted to change, it took a big fight' highlight the struggle of personal growth and the resistance that often comes with it. The protagonist is calling out the bluff of someone else, perhaps a partner or a friend, indicating a desire for authenticity and real change. The repeated phrase 'I swear I tried' underscores the effort and emotional labor involved in this journey.

Additionally, 'California' touches on themes of fragility and the impact of past experiences. The lyrics 'Got a fragile heart always thought you knew that / And you said from the start: Guess that's how we do that' suggest a relationship where vulnerability was acknowledged but perhaps not fully understood or respected. The song's closing lines, 'They'll never know / I'll never know,' evoke a sense of unresolved emotions and the lingering uncertainty that comes with trying to piece together a fractured past. Beabadoobee's melancholic yet hopeful tone captures the essence of navigating through emotional turmoil and the quest for self-discovery and connection.