I Wish I Was Stephem Malkmus

In 'I Wish I Was Stephen Malkmus,' beabadoobee explores themes of change, self-discovery, and the search for identity. The song's protagonist is undergoing a transformation, symbolized by her new blue hair. This change is not just superficial but represents a deeper shift in her personality and outlook on life. The blue hair phase signifies a break from monotony and a desire to embrace something new and different. The repeated line 'Think I kinda like it' suggests a tentative acceptance and growing comfort with this new identity.

The reference to Stephen Malkmus, the lead singer of the band Pavement, adds another layer to the song. Pavement's music, known for its lo-fi, indie rock sound, often deals with themes of disillusionment and introspection. By wishing to be Stephen Malkmus, the protagonist is expressing a desire to embody the carefree, rebellious spirit that Malkmus represents. This longing is further emphasized by the line 'I sit at home, cry to Pavement,' indicating that the music of Pavement serves as a source of solace and inspiration during her moments of vulnerability.

The song also touches on feelings of loneliness and dissatisfaction with superficial relationships. The protagonist criticizes someone for their lack of genuine concern, highlighting a disconnect between her evolving self and the people around her. This sense of isolation is juxtaposed with her newfound comfort in her own skin, as she navigates the complexities of change and self-acceptance. The song ultimately captures the bittersweet nature of personal growth, where the excitement of new beginnings is often accompanied by the pain of leaving old parts of oneself behind.