If You Want To

In 'If You Want To,' beabadoobee delves into the haunting and often debilitating experience of insomnia and sleep paralysis, juxtaposed with the desire for emotional connection and love. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of the artist's struggle with sleepless nights, where 'bed bugs in my mind' and 'insomnia creeps at night' serve as metaphors for the intrusive thoughts and anxieties that plague her. These lines highlight the mental turmoil that comes with sleep disorders, making it clear that the artist's mind is a battleground where peace is hard to find.

The song also explores the theme of vulnerability and the longing for someone to understand and help alleviate this mental anguish. The repeated lines, 'If you want, you could stay with me in my bed' and 'If you want, you could go ahead and fix my head,' suggest a plea for companionship and support. This duality of seeking both solace and a cure for her insomnia underscores the complexity of her emotional state. The use of 'pesticides' as a metaphor for a solution to her mental 'bed bugs' further emphasizes the desperation and intensity of her need for relief.

Beabadoobee's raw and honest portrayal of her struggles with sleep and mental health resonates deeply with listeners who may have faced similar issues. The song's repetitive structure and haunting melody mirror the cyclical nature of insomnia, creating an immersive experience that captures the listener's attention. By blending personal vulnerability with universal themes of love and mental health, 'If You Want To' offers a poignant reflection on the challenges of finding peace in both mind and heart.