Vanilla Baby

Billie Marten's 'Vanilla Baby' delves into the complexities of self-identity and the pressures of conforming to societal expectations. The song opens with a sense of unease, as the narrator feels 'close to ill' but paradoxically 'alright.' This juxtaposition sets the tone for the internal conflict that runs throughout the song. The lyrics 'steady hands and steady feet' suggest a facade of stability, while 'I push you far behind' indicates a desire to distance oneself from external influences and expectations.

The recurring line 'I am only as good as you want me to be' highlights the struggle between personal authenticity and the need for external validation. Marten's refusal to 'pick up the phone if I don't want to speak' signifies a boundary-setting act, emphasizing the importance of self-care and autonomy. The line 'I don't know what I'm doing, it's easy to see' reveals vulnerability and the universal uncertainty of navigating one's path in life.

The metaphor of 'pages after pages I write for me and no one else' underscores the importance of self-expression and individuality. The phrase 'no brick in the wall' alludes to Pink Floyd's famous critique of conformity, reinforcing the theme of resisting societal pressures. The repeated question 'How can I be vanilla, baby?' serves as a poignant inquiry into the impossibility of fitting into a bland, one-size-fits-all mold. Marten's plea to be 'showered' with genuine human connection rather than superficial expectations encapsulates the song's core message: the yearning for authenticity in a world that often demands conformity.