Monster

Boondox's song "Monster" delves deep into the psyche of someone grappling with intense inner turmoil and mental health struggles. The recurring question, "Monster, how should I feel?" reflects a profound sense of confusion and helplessness. The 'creatures' looking through the window symbolize the intrusive and persistent nature of these dark thoughts and feelings, suggesting that the protagonist feels constantly watched and judged by their own inner demons.

The lyrics reveal a raw and unfiltered look at the artist's battle with mental health issues, including paranoia, manic depression, and suicidal ideation. Boondox's candid admission of writing suicide letters and feeling like a 'lost boy' searching for answers highlights the depth of his despair. The mention of 'voices in my head' and 'monsters at my window' further emphasizes the relentless nature of his mental anguish, making it clear that these are not just fleeting thoughts but a constant, oppressive presence in his life.

The song also touches on themes of existential dread and the search for meaning. Boondox questions how he can ever find peace or 'get to Heaven' when he feels surrounded by fallen angels and monsters. This metaphorical language underscores the artist's struggle with self-worth and the fear of judgment, both from himself and others. The desire to end his suffering 'on my own fuckin' terms' speaks to a yearning for control in a life that feels overwhelmingly chaotic and painful. Ultimately, "Monster" is a poignant exploration of the human condition, mental illness, and the desperate search for relief from inner demons.