That's The Way I Always Heard It Should Be

Carly Simon's song "That's The Way I Always Heard It Should Be" delves into the intricate and often conflicting emotions surrounding love, marriage, and societal expectations. The song opens with a somber depiction of the singer's parents, highlighting a sense of emotional distance and routine. The father sits in darkness, smoking, while the mother is absorbed in her magazines, suggesting a lack of communication and intimacy. This sets the stage for the singer's own apprehensions about marriage and family life.

The chorus reveals a conversation between the singer and her partner, who suggests that they should move in together and start a family. The singer's response, "Well, that's the way I've always heard it should be," indicates a sense of resignation rather than enthusiasm. She seems to be conforming to societal norms rather than following her own desires. The verses further explore this theme by describing the lives of her married friends, who appear to be trapped in unhappy relationships. They experience "silent noons, tearful nights, angry dawns," and their children resent them. Despite their attempts to mask their pain with laughter and alcohol, the underlying wounds remain.

The final verse is particularly poignant as the singer expresses her fear of losing her individuality within the confines of marriage. She envisions herself being caged and unable to be her true self. The imagery of couples clinging and clawing, drowning in love's debris, paints a bleak picture of romantic relationships. Despite her partner's reassurances that their love will be different, the singer remains skeptical. The song concludes with a reluctant acceptance of marriage, underscoring the tension between societal expectations and personal fulfillment.