This Silence Is Mine
Chihiro Onitsuka
The Echoes of Silence: A Journey Through Chihiro Onitsuka's 'This Silence Is Mine'
Chihiro Onitsuka's song 'This Silence Is Mine' is a haunting exploration of inner turmoil and the quest for self-understanding. The lyrics are rich with imagery and metaphors that delve into themes of isolation, introspection, and the struggle to find one's voice amidst chaos. The repeated phrase 'Atashi ni mieru no wa' (What I see) sets the tone for a deeply personal narrative, where the singer reflects on distant memories, frozen emotions, and dreams that gently awaken like a lamb. This introspective journey is framed by the metaphor of 'zatsuon no hazama yurikago' (the cradle of noise), suggesting a world filled with distractions and disturbances that prevent true connection and understanding.
The chorus, with its stark repetition of 'This tattoo, this preview, this heartbeat, chinmoku no sanaka yo' (in the midst of silence), emphasizes the physical and emotional marks left by past experiences. The tattoo symbolizes a permanent reminder of pain or a significant event, while the heartbeat represents the essence of life and emotion. The silence, then, becomes a personal domain, a space where the singer can confront and process these imprints without external interference. The questions 'Where is my gear? Where are my stairs? Where is my heartbeat?' reflect a sense of disorientation and the search for direction and purpose in life.
As the song progresses, the lyrics shift to a more active tone with lines like 'Atashi ga inoru toki' (When I pray) and 'Atashi ga sakebu toki' (When I scream), indicating moments of intense emotion and the struggle to express oneself. The plea to 'kanashimi wo sutete' (discard sadness) and 'kokoro wo ushinatte' (lose the heart) suggests a desire to let go of pain and find peace. The repeated whispering of 'sasayaku' (whisper) towards the end of the song creates an intimate and almost eerie atmosphere, reinforcing the theme of silence as both a refuge and a source of power. Ultimately, 'This Silence Is Mine' is a profound meditation on the complexities of the human psyche and the resilience required to navigate through life's noise and find one's true self.