El Optimista

How sad things are
that life has
money is not enough
not even for food

With the situation
we are living,
more
than one person
is going crazy

I left being a transvestite
to look for a job
and they rejected me
because I'm very ugly

I've been looking for a job
for three years
they send me up
they throw me down

I'll be willing
to any job
caring for Piranhas
washing buildings

Killing mosquitoes
chasing rats
or deactivating
leg-breaking mines

I sew buttons
and change light bulbs
caring for retirees
pushing their chairs

I throw cards
I read the tobacco
I stretch their hair
or shave their armpits

If you want I serve
as a cat for the car
if you don't have a dog
I bark at night

I chase thieves
and carry coffins
I bring reasons
and deliver greetings

I look for the lost
I'm jealous of the wife
and if he's bored
I get him a girlfriend

I wash underwear
I give injections
I take care of the children
I put on condoms

I arrange interviews
I make up excuses
I wait in line for him
and pay his fines

I forge signatures
I change fingerprints
and I'm an expert
in inflating bottles

I perform exorcisms
I scare away demons
and I rehearse the bride
for the wedding

I carry the child
I fix the bottle
I release the gases
and clean up the mess
I change diapers
when it smells bad
after bathing him
I sunbathe him

When he's very sad
I calm his crying
and if you can't
I breastfeed him

I serve as a witness
in any matter
if you don't have evidence
I find the deceased

I act as a clown
as a contortionist
tiger tamer
or juggler

I'm an expert
in matters of love
and if he can't do it
I'll do him the favor

If unfortunately
you lack hands
I can serve you
as a faithful brother
when you need
to use the bathroom
don't worry
I'll accompany you

If the time comes
to do it and you can't
well I'll take it out
and shake it

I train fleas
monkeys and elephants
I train turtles
prepare purgatives
I have the remedy
for diarrhea
as long as they pay me
I'll do anything

I throw myself at a car
I get on the train
I throw myself naked
from the Empire States

I offer myself as a guinea pig
for experiments
I lock myself in the cage
of a hungry lion

I go to Israel
as a Palestinian
out of necessity
I sell my destiny

And even if the Americans
get mad at me
I would go to take care
of Osama Bin Laden

I jump tied
from a plane
I grab onto a shark
with my teeth

For money I've slept
inside a coffin
I've even ridden
in a hot air balloon
what was missing

Showing my resume
I wander around

All I have left
to do is....
Ass!

Supertibux!!!!