Always December

Snow is falling it's middle July
Just another day here in my mind
Can't escape what's inside
I've been running my whole damn life

Years go by but the colors won't change
Been so long since I've felt anything
Feelings fading so fast
Like I'm watching my own life through glass

No one sees but it's always December in me
No matter where I go it's pouring rain
In my head seasons never change
And it's killing me
No one sees but it's always December in me
Tried so hard to be brave
But the reasons this life is worth living
Get hard to remember
When it's always December

Black and white only colors I see
Sunless sky somehow stuck on repeat
But I hold it all down
Don't want anyone to feel this but me

I'm only free from it when I'm asleep
The more I think the more I feel myself sink
Back to this empty place
It's a nightmare I could never explain (never explain)

No one sees but it's always December in me
No matter where I go it's pouring rain
In my head seasons never change
And it's killing me
No one sees but it's always December in me
Tried so hard to be brave
But the reasons this life is worth living
Get hard to remember

Can't outrun the cold
When it's in my head
In my head
It's been getting old
Wishing I was dead
I was dead
As this overcast suffocates me
I'm done waiting on some sign of spring

I would rather lay here in my bed
Than have to face what lives here in my head
Hell just being awake
Hurts much more than I could ever explain

No one sees but it's always December in me
No matter where I go it's pouring rain
In my head seasons never change
And it's killing me
No one sees but it's always December in me
Tried so hard to be brave
But the reasons this life is worth living
Get hard to remember
When it's always December