My Own Miracle

Citizen Soldier's 'My Own Miracle' is a poignant exploration of self-reliance and resilience in the face of abandonment and emotional neglect. The song delves into the struggles of an individual who has had to navigate life's challenges without the support of friends or family. The opening lines, 'Fake smiles are holding me together / For worse or for better,' set the tone for a narrative steeped in loneliness and the facade of coping. The protagonist reveals a life marked by transient relationships and a lack of enduring support, symbolized by the metaphor of carrying 'a loaded gun,' representing the constant burden of unspoken pain and pressure.

The chorus underscores the depth of this isolation, with lines like 'Nobody showed up, nobody slowed down / They must have been deaf, I was screaming so loud.' This vivid imagery conveys a sense of desperation and the feeling of being unheard and unseen. The protagonist's journey is one of self-discovery and self-love, as they learn to be their own source of strength and hope. The repeated refrain, 'Had to be my own, my own miracle,' encapsulates the essence of the song—finding inner strength when external support is absent.

The song also touches on the theme of overcoming adversity, as seen in the verse, 'Worked twice as hard through the diseases / And make up for the weakness.' This line highlights the protagonist's determination to persevere despite physical and emotional challenges. The narrative is a testament to the human spirit's capacity to endure and thrive, even in the most trying circumstances. The closing lines, 'Had to have hope when I didn't feel spiritual / Had to be my own, my own miracle,' reinforce the idea that true resilience comes from within, and sometimes, we must become our own heroes to survive and flourish.