Wish I Could Cry

Citizen Soldier's song "Wish I Could Cry" delves deep into the emotional turmoil of someone who has become numb to their feelings as a coping mechanism. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of a person who has built emotional walls, trading memories and feelings for a sense of emptiness. This fortress, however, has become a prison, where the individual feels trapped and unable to experience the catharsis of crying. The metaphor of selling cyanide for novocaine suggests a trade-off between enduring pain and numbing it, highlighting the destructive nature of avoiding emotional suffering.

The chorus reveals the protagonist's desperate wish to cry and let out their pent-up emotions. They are overwhelmed by thoughts that seem to push them towards self-destruction, yet they have become too adept at suppressing these feelings. The fear of having forgotten how to cry underscores the depth of their emotional numbness. The silence, which once served as a protective barrier, is now suffocating them, making them feel as though they are drowning in their own unexpressed pain.

Throughout the song, the lyrics explore the theme of wearing different faces and being fake to cope with past traumas. The protagonist feels safer being emotionally frozen rather than facing the fight-or-flight response triggered by their past. However, they come to realize that true healing requires feeling and suffering, as the taste of tender love and genuine emotions is worth the sacrifice. The song concludes with a poignant plea for the ability to break down and cry, signifying a readiness to confront and process their emotions, despite the fear and pain it may bring.