How Did I Ever

Clairo's song 'How Did I Ever' delves into the emotional turmoil and introspection that follows a significant relationship's end. The repeated question, 'How did I try to get you off my mind?' underscores the difficulty of moving on from someone who once held a central place in the singer's life. This line captures the essence of the struggle to forget and the persistent presence of the past love in her thoughts.

The lyrics, 'Could this be the end? Of you and I for now,' suggest a sense of uncertainty and hope. Clairo is not entirely convinced that the relationship is over for good, leaving a door open for future reconciliation. This ambiguity reflects the common experience of not knowing whether a breakup is final or just a temporary separation. The line 'Hope that I see you soon, don't know what I would do' further emphasizes her longing and the emotional dependency she still feels.

In the chorus, Clairo sings, 'My heart is under the weather, I know that I’m the only one who can heal it.' This metaphor of a heart being 'under the weather' poignantly illustrates her emotional state. She acknowledges that despite the pain, the responsibility of healing lies within herself. The repetition of 'I'm on my own' reinforces her solitude and the personal journey she must undertake to overcome her heartache. The final lines, 'I try to beat the struggle for you, but that’s just too hard for anyone to do,' highlight the immense difficulty of trying to move past the pain for someone else's sake, ultimately recognizing that such a task is nearly impossible.