Back Door

Clan Of Xymox's song 'Back Door' delves into the depths of emotional turmoil and existential reflection. The lyrics paint a picture of someone enveloped in darkness, grappling with wasted years and lingering memories. The opening lines, 'I am shrouded in darkness / I crouched in wasted years,' set a somber tone, suggesting a life overshadowed by regret and missed opportunities. The use of 'elegies' to describe memories hints at a sense of mourning for the past, emphasizing the weight of these recollections on the narrator's psyche.

The recurring motif of the 'back door' symbolizes a clandestine or less obvious path, perhaps representing the narrator's attempt to escape or confront their inner demons. The lines 'And again I stumbled through the back door / Seeing you, a misty shadow' evoke a sense of elusive encounters and unresolved emotions. The 'misty shadow' could be a metaphor for a person or a memory that haunts the narrator, contributing to their feelings of repression and inability to move forward. The repetition of 'Tomorrow I will be here again' underscores a sense of entrapment, as if the narrator is caught in a cycle of despair and longing.

The latter part of the song shifts to a more introspective tone, with the narrator expressing weariness of both joy and sorrow, as well as the passage of time. 'I am tired of tears and laughter / Or what may come hereafter' reflects a deep-seated fatigue with life's emotional highs and lows. Despite this weariness, the narrator's desire to hold onto a significant person or memory remains strong, as evidenced by the poignant lines, 'Although it makes me weep / It is you / I wanna keep.' This juxtaposition of pain and attachment highlights the complexity of human emotions and the struggle to find meaning amidst suffering.