Mauerbauertraurigkeit

Closure In Moscow's song 'Mauerbauertraurigkeit' delves into the complex emotions of love, loss, and self-destruction. The title itself is a German term that roughly translates to 'the inexplicable urge to push people away, even those you care about.' This sets the tone for the lyrical journey, where the protagonist grapples with inner turmoil and the consequences of their actions.

The lyrics paint a vivid picture of a desolate emotional landscape, described as a 'desert' created by the protagonist. This metaphor suggests a self-imposed isolation, a barren state of mind where peace is sought but never truly found. The 'topaz fist' symbolizes a hardened heart, perhaps beautiful but ultimately unyielding. The recurring imagery of something 'in my marrow' and 'through my heart like an arrow' indicates a deep, penetrating pain that the protagonist cannot escape.

Throughout the song, there is a sense of regret and longing. The protagonist reflects on a time spent 'getting high' and 'feeling so worried,' indicating a period of escapism and anxiety. Despite these dark times, there was a glimmer of hope in the form of a significant other, described as an 'open door.' However, this opportunity for salvation was squandered, leading to a continuous cycle of 'falling out of myself' and 'out of space and time.' The plea for the other person to stay, despite the inevitable fading, underscores the desperation and helplessness felt by the protagonist.

The song also touches on the idea of haunting memories and the lingering presence of a lost love. The lines 'I'll attach my ghost unto your sweetness' and 'so that you may visit me in the night' evoke a spectral connection, where the protagonist's spirit clings to the memory of their loved one. This haunting is both a comfort and a curse, as it keeps the protagonist tethered to the past while preventing them from moving forward. The final verses highlight the enduring impact of this love, described as 'the sinew of my merit' and 'swelling with your love,' suggesting that even in its absence, it continues to shape and define the protagonist's existence.