He Hit Me (It Felt Like a Kiss)
The Crystals
A Controversial Reflection on Love and Abuse
The song "He Hit Me (It Felt Like a Kiss)" by The Crystals is a deeply controversial and unsettling piece that explores the complex and often disturbing dynamics of an abusive relationship. Written in the early 1960s, the song reflects a time when societal norms around domestic violence were vastly different from today. The lyrics describe a woman who interprets her partner's physical abuse as a sign of love and devotion, a perspective that is both troubling and reflective of the era's attitudes towards gender roles and relationships.
The lyrics are filled with contradictions and painful ironies. The protagonist equates physical violence with affection, suggesting that her partner's anger and subsequent abuse are proof of his love. Lines like "He hit me and it felt like a kiss" and "He hit me and I knew he loved me" reveal a disturbing normalization of violence, where the victim perceives the abuse as a form of emotional validation. This twisted logic is further emphasized when she expresses gratitude for the abuse, believing that it signifies her partner's deep care and concern.
Culturally, the song serves as a stark reminder of the dangerous myths surrounding love and violence. It challenges listeners to confront the uncomfortable reality that many people, especially women, have historically been conditioned to accept and even rationalize abusive behavior. The song's haunting melody and poignant lyrics force us to reflect on the progress society has made in recognizing and addressing domestic violence, while also acknowledging the work that still needs to be done to eradicate these harmful beliefs and behaviors.