How Not To
Dan + Shay
The Struggle of Letting Go: A Deep Dive into Dan + Shay's 'How Not To'
Dan + Shay's song 'How Not To' delves into the emotional turmoil of trying to move on from a past relationship. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of the internal conflict faced by someone who understands why the relationship ended but is still deeply attached to their former partner. The song captures the essence of heartbreak and the difficulty of letting go, even when one knows it's the right thing to do.
The recurring theme in the song is the struggle between the mind and the heart. The protagonist acknowledges the logical steps of moving on—returning keys, taking back belongings, and filling their days with distractions. However, the emotional attachment to their ex-lover proves to be an insurmountable barrier. The lyrics 'I don't know how not to think about you when it's late at night and quiet' highlight the moments of vulnerability when memories and longing resurface, making it hard to stay strong and move forward.
Metaphorically, the song uses phrases like 'second nature' and 'just like breathing' to describe the deep-seated connection with the ex-partner. This connection is so ingrained that it feels almost impossible to break. The repetition of 'how not to' emphasizes the protagonist's helplessness and the cyclical nature of their struggle. Despite knowing that they should be strong and move on, they find themselves repeatedly drawn back to their ex, leading to a cycle of regret and self-reproach.
'How Not To' resonates with anyone who has experienced the pain of a breakup and the difficulty of moving on. It captures the essence of human vulnerability and the complex emotions that come with love and loss. Dan + Shay's heartfelt delivery and relatable lyrics make this song a poignant reflection on the challenges of letting go.