Not If You Were The Last Junkie On Earth

The Dandy Warhols' song "Not If You Were The Last Junkie On Earth" is a satirical commentary on drug addiction, particularly heroin use, and the cultural trends surrounding it. The lyrics convey a sense of disbelief and disappointment towards someone who has succumbed to heroin addiction, a drug the narrator deems outdated and clichéd. The repeated phrase "heroin is so passe" underscores the idea that the drug, once perhaps seen as rebellious or edgy, has lost its allure and is now viewed as a tired, old trend.

The song also touches on themes of emotional pain and depression, suggesting that the person’s addiction is a misguided attempt to cope with deeper issues. The narrator expresses a mix of empathy and frustration, acknowledging the individual's pain but also criticizing their choice of heroin as a means of escape. The line "If you think that I don't know about depression and emotional pain, you're insane" highlights the narrator's awareness of these struggles, yet they still find the choice of heroin to be foolish and passé.

Additionally, the song reflects on the superficiality of certain cultural trends. The suggestion that the person could have opted for piercings or explored their sexuality instead of turning to heroin points to the trivialization of serious issues in the pursuit of being 'cool' or 'different.' This critique is wrapped in a catchy, almost mocking tone, characteristic of The Dandy Warhols' style, which often blends irony with a laid-back, alternative rock sound. The band's approach to such heavy topics through a lens of satire and irony makes the song both thought-provoking and memorable.