The Crusher

Now I wanna wrestle in the garden
I'm on my way to stardom
I know I'm ready, I know I'm great
But first I got to get in shape

Gotta get myself to the gym
And start workin'
Start lifting those weights in the air
Gonna be a bad guy and fight unfair

I've got my eyes on the Russian Bear
Gonna tear him up, I swear
This guy thinks he's the champion
Gonna take his belt and gonna beat him!

I'm the crusher, king of the ring
I'm the crusher, king of the ring

I'm ready for a match with the Russian Bear
Gonna pile, drive him and pull his hair
I might have a foreign object in my trunks
I might have to use on that punk

If he starts singin' the Russian Anthem
I'm gonna jump him
Before the bell rings
'Cause people are cheering for Dee Dee King

Got the hardest hold you can put on anyone
If you're my victim you're beaten
I'm a lean, mean fightin' machine
Powerful and strong like King Kong

I'm the crusher, king of the ring
I'm the crusher, king of the ring

Started having second thought as soon I was scared as hell
The last thing I wanted was to hear them ring the bell
I mean the Russian Bear could
Probably tear me limb from limb

He'd probably grin be real happy with himself
This is not good for my health
I'm not coming out of the dressing room
And get beaten up by that goon

Go back to Russia, go back home!
Don't wanna get a broken bone
Or a lump on my head
Ain't gonna hide under the bed

I'm the crusher, king of the ring
I'm the crusher, king of the ring
I'm the crusher, king of the ring
I'm the crusher, king of the ring

Got butterflies and a headache
My knees are shaking, I've turned to creamcake
I mean the Russian Bear is 7'3
And the look in his face, is really crazy

How did I get myself into this jam?
I was much better off singin': Funky Man
Got this nutty idea, in my head
Thank God I'm wearing Keds

'Cause they are my running shoes
And if I fight this match I know I'll lose
I'll melt like an ice cube in the Sun
Now I'm done with wrestling

I'm the crusher, king of the ring
I'm the crusher, king of the ring
I'm the crusher, king of the ring
I'm the crusher, king of the ring

I'm the crusher
I'm the crusher
I'm the crusher
I'm the crusher
I'm the crusher