Now That I Know

Devendra Banhart's song "Now That I Know" is a reflective and introspective piece that delves into the complexities of growing up, understanding life's debts, and the journey of self-discovery. The opening lines, "Now that I know / The way it goes / You've gotta pay back every penny that you owe," set the tone for a song that grapples with the inevitability of facing the consequences of one's actions. This could be interpreted both literally and metaphorically, suggesting that every action has a reaction, and every debt, whether financial or emotional, must be repaid.

The lyrics paint a vivid picture of a young person, "Twelve years old / In your mama's clothes," who is perhaps hiding from the world, shutting out reality by locking doors and closing blinds. This imagery evokes a sense of vulnerability and the desire to escape from the pressures and expectations of life. As the song progresses, the narrator reflects on their journey, sending gifts to friends from places they've been, symbolizing the connections and memories made along the way, even if those friends were not always there to lend a hand.

Banhart's lyrics also touch on themes of absence and clarity, as seen in the lines, "Now that you're not / Here with me / 'Seems to be the only time I can see you clearly." This suggests that sometimes, distance or loss can bring a clearer understanding of relationships and oneself. The song concludes with a philosophical note, urging listeners to avoid idealizing struggles and to recognize that freedom comes with its own costs. The mention of Ella singing and sifting in the sand adds a spiritual dimension, hinting at the idea of finding solace and understanding through music and nature.

"Now That I Know" is a contemplative exploration of life's lessons, the importance of self-awareness, and the enduring quest for meaning and connection. Banhart's gentle, poetic style invites listeners to reflect on their own experiences and the ways in which they navigate the complexities of life.