That's On Me

Is this just gettin' older?
I can't get away from this rain
I'm startin' to think that it's me
And I wanna just create things
But the longer it takes, I feel drained

Can't remember a day I've been sober
Not in a place to take blame
Any more weight, I might break
Tell me, do you feel the same?
Guess we all go the same way

I'm in a bit of a mess here
I count to ten and I hope to disappear
I never did my homework
Could I have been more than this?
Findin' a way to exist
Within a world with no risk
Forcin' a shoe that won't fit

I spend most the days stoned
And makin' excuses for it
Sayin': It helped to write this
But on the real, I'm tight-lipped
Shootin' the shot that I'll miss

And it's so far from near
Why the hell am I still here?

This is not the end of our lives
This is just a bump in the ride
And I know that it will be alright
And if it's not, then we're fucked, aren't we?
I can't help myself but cry
Every time that I realise
Maybe I'll never find my smile
But who's to blame? Well, that's on me

Well, that's on me
Well, that's on me

Now that the weather is colder
Nothin' is maskin' this pain
The summer was here, but won't stay
And we are inside, like, all day
Regrettin' the things that we say

And it takes a toll, yeah
The conversation won't end
Bein' a rock for your friends
Cracks in the surface don't mend
We only break, we don't bend

And you'd think it was so clear
But I can't see nothin' but the fear
I'm feelin' so bloated
Thinkin' a salad won't do
Might as well open up two
Lockin' myself in my room
Hopin' that this'll end soon

And no one will notice
What I will put myself through
'Cause they will hate themselves too
Isn't it mad what we do?
Pretendin' to win, but just lose

And it's so far from near
Why the hell am I still here?

This is not the end of our lives
This is just a bump in the ride
And I know that it will be alright
And if it's not, then we're fucked, aren't we?
I can't help myself but cry
Every time that I realise
Maybe I'll never find my smile
But who's to blame? Well, that's on me

Well, that's on me
Well, that's on me

Too many things on my mind
To process moments of life
There's some days I lose my drive
Then, some, can't control the fire

I'm aware that things take time
But I'm not a patient guy
Maybe, if I wait, I'll find
Resemblance of peace of mind

This is just gettin' older
Runnin' away from our past
Knowin' the calm, it won't last
Bein' a mouse in this grass
Feelin' the snakes behind us

And I'm searchin' for closure
But nothin' is healin' these scars
When I open up, they just laugh
Sayin' if they had just half
Then nothin' would ever be dark

Is it new me, new year
Or just the same old blue sphere?

This is not the end of our lives
This is just a bump in the ride
And I know that it will be alright
And, if it's not, then we're fucked, aren't we?
I can't help myself but cry
Every time that I realise
Maybe I'll never find my smile
But who's to blame? Well, that's on me

Well, that's on me
Well, that's on me
Well, that's on me