Donald Trump VS Hillary Clinton
Epic Rap Battles Of History
[Hillary Clinton]
I've been in this game too long
I'm a public servant
Have been since I met MLK in person
I'm a woman of the people
That's for certain
You're a man of the people
Who don't like turbans
I was living in the West Wing
While you were professional wrestling
You got skin like Russian dressing
From too much Russian investing
You been going bankrupt since the 90's
If I was Iran you couldn't find me
You don't care about the job, Trump
You just think the desk is shiny
I said that I respect your children
But that wasn't quite right, yo
Looking like some extras from American Psycho
First name is Hillary, Middle name Rodham
Last name is Clinton and lyrics I got 'em
You fire celebrities on The Apprentice
Mutha fucka, I fire Bin Laden
Crack!
How do I say this?
You're racist
Ohh, You must get so pissed
That your hands are too small
To stop and frisk
So you use your fingers to touch chicks
She's only 12 years old
That's enough, shit
But She's married sir
Just gotta get pushy
That's your daughter!
Well, grab her by the pussy
That's assault, brotha
Don't tell me the victim's at fault, sucka
You don't know shit about steaks, yucka
But the ones on the 8th are great
Mutha fucka
Better save the date
I'm gonna rock the vote
Bad bitch on the scene
Like Murder She Wrote
So go ahead Donald let me see you flow
I brought Michelle's speech
Borrow some quotes!
[Donald Trump]
Let me just say
I respect all females
But your rhymes are trash
Put 'em next to your emails
Our country's in crisis
Who wants to vote for the mother of ISIS?
That might not be exactly true
But I don't do politeness
You wanna talk about misogyny
Your Bill's worse than Cosby
He left a mess on that dress
Like you left in Benghazi
You wanna break the glass ceiling
Hillary I sense it
But the only crack you'll find
Is my ass pressed agaisnt it
The numbers are in and I'm right on your tail
You don't have the stamina baby, you're frail
This will be just like '08 when you fail
But Trump will appoint you to jail
How do I say this?
You're a 2
And you almost lost the primary
To a socialist Jew
What do the American people
Gotta yankee doodle do
To get it throught your fat face
That they're just not that into you
They want a strong male leader
Who can stand up to China
Not a crooked little wishy washy
Bleeding heart vagina
I'm gonna run these streets like I run my Casinos
More police
And less latinos
While you bury us in debt buying poor people socks
I'll create jobs
Tearing down mosques
Then I'll use all the best rocks
From the site to build a wall
Dip it in gold and make Mexico
Pay for it all!
I'll make this country great again
We'll all be living large
I'll tell Congress: You're fired
And put Charles in charge
Cause this whole system's rigged
And we all know the riggers
For the last 8 years
This country's been run by
[Abraham Lincoln]
Are you fucking kidding me
With this blah blah blah
I've half a mind to feed you both
To my oversized
I've heard more thoughtful discussion up in TMZ
You two got brother blocking brother on their Facebook feed!
I'm so sick and tired of this ridiculous shit
If this is the best my party gets
Then my party should quit!
I'm sorry
Did I say something that you found funny?
Wipe that creepy ass smile off your face
And beat this dummy
And if she does win the White House
Be a man and hold the door
Don't get your fans stirred up
In some sorta Twitter civil war
Here's an equal opportunity
Smack down in the sequel
That's of the people
By the people
For the people
Eagle!