I Think That I Would Die
Hole
The Cry for Motherhood and Identity in 'I Think That I Would Die'
The song 'I Think That I Would Die' by Hole, fronted by Courtney Love, is a raw and visceral expression of pain, loss, and the struggle for identity. The repeated lines 'I want my baby' and 'Where is the baby?' suggest a deep yearning for a child or something precious that has been taken away. This could be interpreted literally as a mother's grief over losing a child or metaphorically as a loss of innocence or a part of oneself.
The refrain 'Rose white, rose red' could be an allusion to the fairy tale 'Snow-White and Rose-Red,' symbolizing purity and passion, or it could represent the duality of the singer's own identity. The contrasting statements 'You stupid, I'm smarting' and 'He lost all the innocence, Gave it to an abscess' further explore themes of pain and the loss of innocence. The line 'I am not a feminist' is particularly striking, as it seems to reject a label while the song itself could be seen as a feminist statement about the struggles unique to women.
The repeated declaration 'There is no milk!' is a powerful metaphor for lack and unfulfilled need. Milk traditionally symbolizes nourishment and motherhood, and its absence here underscores a sense of desperation and emptiness. The aggressive tone of 'It's not yours - fuck you!' serves as a reclaiming of agency and a refusal to be possessed or controlled. Overall, the song is a complex interplay of personal and possibly political themes, reflecting the angst and defiance that characterized Hole's music in the 90s grunge scene.