Exxxes

Joe Budden's song 'Exxxes' delves into the complexities of a toxic relationship, blending raw emotion with vivid storytelling. The lyrics paint a picture of a tumultuous affair with a woman named Ashley, who embodies both allure and chaos. The repeated hook, 'She be calling my name,' signifies the irresistible pull she has on him, despite the evident strain on his mental well-being. This relationship is marked by intense physical and emotional interactions, where pleasure and pain are intertwined, reflecting a deeper struggle within the narrator himself.

The song's narrative reveals Ashley as a deeply troubled individual, with a background of familial neglect and substance abuse. Her erratic behavior and extreme requests during intimate moments highlight her inner turmoil and the impact it has on the narrator. The line 'She be saying choke me like I lost all respect' underscores a disturbing dynamic where violence and affection are inseparable. This relationship becomes a mirror for the narrator's own issues, as he grapples with self-loathing and a sense of entrapment. The lyrics 'Said she'll never love me, cause I don't love my own self' poignantly capture this internal conflict.

As the song progresses, it becomes clear that Ashley is not just a person but a symbol of the narrator's own destructive tendencies. The verse 'Is it just my mental, is she just a symbol / There for me to look at everything that I resemble' suggests that she represents his darker side, the part of him that he struggles to confront. The relationship's cyclical nature, where they repeatedly hurt and reconcile, mirrors his internal battle. The song culminates in a moment of attempted separation, where the narrator tries to break free from this toxic bond, only to be pulled back by a mix of guilt and dependency. 'Exxxes' is a raw exploration of love, self-destruction, and the difficulty of breaking free from one's own demons.