Happy To Be Here

Julien Baker's 'Happy To Be Here' is a poignant reflection on self-acceptance, personal struggles, and the search for meaning within the context of one's own imperfections. The song's lyrics convey a deep sense of introspection and the desire for change, both internally and externally. Baker uses the metaphor of becoming an electrician to 'rearrange the wires in my brain,' suggesting a wish to alter her own thoughts and behaviors to fit a more conventional or accepted lifestyle, one that includes stability and societal norms like a steady job and church attendance.

The song also touches on themes of existential questioning and the feeling of being flawed or broken, as seen in the 'diagram of faulty circuitry' that Baker feels explains her creation. The 'engineer' could be a metaphor for a higher power or creator, to whom she voices her complaints and doubts, questioning if her make-up is a mistake. This is further emphasized by the comparison of missing someone to the craving for nicotine, illustrating an internal battle with dependency and the longing for comfort or relief.

In the final verses, Baker grapples with the concept of grace and worthiness, particularly in a religious context. She expresses doubt about her ability to change and skepticism about the promises of redemption and healing often proclaimed in religious or self-help circles. The song ends with a powerful and vulnerable plea, wondering why, if there is grace and healing available, it seems to elude her. 'Happy To Be Here' is a raw and honest exploration of the human condition, the struggle for self-improvement, and the quest for divine or personal acceptance.