Turn Out The Lights
Julien Baker
The Struggle of Self-Reflection in Darkness
Julien Baker's song "Turn Out The Lights" delves into the complexities of self-reflection and the emotional turmoil that often accompanies it. The opening lines, describing a hole in the drywall that remains unfixed, serve as a metaphor for unresolved issues and emotional wounds. The speaker's growing accustomed to these gaps suggests a resignation to their imperfections and struggles, highlighting a sense of helplessness and acceptance of their flawed state.
The lyrics also touch on the theme of isolation and the difficulty of self-compassion. The speaker questions why it seems easier for others to cope, expressing frustration and a sense of inadequacy. This sentiment is further emphasized by the line, "I'm not always like this," indicating a desire to be understood and a recognition that their current state is not their true self. The mention of tomorrow offers a glimmer of hope, yet it is overshadowed by the speaker's struggle to distinguish between reality and dreams, underscoring their confusion and despair.
The recurring motif of turning out the lights symbolizes the moments of solitude when the speaker is left alone with their thoughts. In the darkness, there is no one to distract or comfort them, leaving them to confront their inner turmoil. The repetition of the phrase "When I turn out the lights" emphasizes the cyclical nature of this struggle, as the speaker repeatedly faces their own reflection and the emotional battles that come with it. Ultimately, the song captures the raw and poignant experience of grappling with one's inner demons and the longing for relief and understanding.