I Wonder

That's right—I got problems and personal issues
Stories that'll make ya eyes tear and wet tissue
It's true, I'm Madd like the rapper
I'm so upset I gotta put it up in my rap before I snapper
After the things I've seen from Atlanta to Queens
To the mean streets of Brooklyn when I was a teen
Back and forth to the Islands, scream when I left
But adapted, and still my dreams haven't left
I only hung with the crack kids we not the best
Me and the roughest ruffnecks went chest to chest
Now my best friend's locked up north, I won't rest
Till I let him live his dream through me and I confess
That even though both our hearts was dark his was darker
Best believe when shit got spark he was the sparker
And when the block got hot he was the fire starter
And if I had beef my nigga Raja was a martyr

I wonder how certain people come in my life
I wonder why'd I get in so many fights
I wonder why sometimes things just don't go right
Why I gotta live this life, hey, hey
I wonder how certain people come in my life
I wonder why'd I get in so many fights
I wonder why I gotta live this life, hey, hey

Yo, you one of the most important people in my life
They called you Dice, but I called you cousin
We was buggin' 'cause I figured that we both had something in common
You loved to chat reggae music and I loved rhymin'
But still they ain't call you Dice for nothin'
I seen you shoot with the williest cats and leave them with nothing
Somethin' must have pleased that bluffer in you
To make you wanna take dough from those tougher than you
Throughout school we made money together
When you was on the floor shootin', I was the side better
And yo we cleaned out them cats and took the scraps
But you wasn't a ruff cat and cats knew that
I knew eventually them thugs would try to hurt you
If I was there, I'd never let nobody hurt you, it's hurtful
I knew they wouldn't let you take the money and run
That's why I shoulda came when you told me to come

I wonder how certain people come in my life
I wonder why'd I get in so many fights
I wonder why I gotta live this life, hey, hey
I wonder how certain things don't go right
I wonder why'd I get in so many fights
I wonder why I gotta live this life, hey, hey

Yo, it was June sixth 96 Graduation night
Made it through the school shish shootin' dice gettin' in fights
I even sparked a riot, till the school got quiet
And dismiss just got tired of usin' my fists
We had some shit like knife pipes bottles and sticks
Can't forget them 380's, Nine's and 22's
Best believe, many dudes was paid in my crew
We made a name for ourselves boy I've seen some drama
Seems my momma never dreamed she'd go threw so much trauma comma, pause you
Ask about cops and laws
Well that shit don't exist when you black and poor
So we broke em, but at that night my heart got broken
Chokin' on the weed smoke, drinkin' rum and gettin' open
Not to mention, never a big drinker I'm a thinker
But I'm thinkin' hey this my night, pass me more liquor
Fight breaks out, I'm just too nice to get in it
But my brother got stabbed and I missed it
Word up, it's crazy
Why I gotta live this life (wonder) hey, hey

I wonder why sometimes things just don't go right
I wonder why certain people come in my life
I wonder, yeah, why I gotta live this life, hey, hey
I wonder why sometimes things just don't go right
I wonder why'd I get in so many fights
I wonder: Hey, why I gotta live this life, hey, hey
I wonder why sometimes things just don't go right
I wonder why I gotta live this life
I wonder why I gotta live this life, ay, ay, uh, ay
That's right, your life