What I Always Wanted

Kittie's song 'What I Always Wanted' delves into the complex emotions surrounding the pursuit of desires and the subsequent realization that what we seek may not bring the fulfillment we expect. The lyrics open with a sense of revelation and urgency, urging the listener to 'savor this' moment of clarity. However, this clarity is fleeting, as the singer grapples with doubt and the uncertainty of whether their desires will truly bring satisfaction. The phrase 'Hit or miss' encapsulates this uncertainty, suggesting that the outcome of our pursuits is often unpredictable.

The chorus, repeating 'I thought I found what I always wanted,' highlights the disillusionment that can accompany the attainment of long-sought goals. The repetition of 'bear with me' suggests a plea for understanding and patience as the singer navigates these conflicting emotions. The line 'Certainty's not at hand, I can't keep my eyes shut' further emphasizes the struggle to reconcile expectations with reality. The singer is caught between the desire for certainty and the realization that it may never come.

Musically, Kittie is known for their heavy, aggressive style, which complements the intense emotional landscape of the song. The raw energy of the music mirrors the internal turmoil described in the lyrics. The song's structure, with its alternating moments of introspection and explosive intensity, reflects the cyclical nature of desire and disillusionment. Ultimately, 'What I Always Wanted' serves as a poignant exploration of the human condition, capturing the bittersweet reality that our deepest desires may not always lead to the happiness we envision.