I'm Not Suicidal, Ur Suicidal

Kodiak's song "I'm Not Suicidal, Ur Suicidal" delves into the complex and often misunderstood realm of mental health struggles. The repeated refrain, "I'm not super suicidal, just enough to make you worry when I'm quiet," captures the essence of living on the edge of despair without fully succumbing to it. This line suggests a state of being where the individual is not actively seeking to end their life but is deeply entrenched in a mental space that causes concern for those around them. The repetition of this line underscores the persistent nature of these feelings and the impact they have on both the individual and their loved ones.

The lyrics also touch on themes of denial and acknowledgment. The lines, "You could whisper when you say that it’s denial, or you could say it to my face I won’t deny it," highlight the internal conflict between recognizing one's struggles and the external perceptions of those struggles. This duality is a common experience for many dealing with mental health issues, where there is a constant battle between admitting the severity of one's condition and the fear of being judged or misunderstood by others.

Furthermore, the song addresses the daily struggles and the sense of hopelessness that can accompany mental health challenges. Lines like "Running out of more than things to say, tried to make a list but then my phone ran out of space" and "My prescriptions ran out months ago, I know, I should really fill them, but don’t care enough to go" paint a vivid picture of the exhaustion and apathy that often come with depression. The mention of losing a significant other and the struggle to find motivation to continue living adds a layer of personal loss and isolation to the narrative. The song's raw and honest portrayal of these emotions serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of mental health awareness and support.