Si Deus Me Relinquit
Kuroshitsuji
The Struggle of Abandonment and Self-Defense in 'Si Deus Me Relinquit'
The song 'Si Deus Me Relinquit' by Kuroshitsuji delves into the profound themes of abandonment and self-reliance. The Latin lyrics, which translate to 'If God abandons me, I abandon God,' set a somber and introspective tone. This opening line suggests a reciprocal relationship with divinity, where the speaker feels compelled to forsake God if they themselves are forsaken. This sentiment reflects a deep sense of betrayal and the existential crisis that follows when one feels abandoned by a higher power.
The subsequent lines, 'Solus oppressus nigram clavem habere potest, Omnias ianuas praecludo, Sic omnias precationes obsigno,' translate to 'Only the oppressed alone can have the black key, I close all doors, Thus I seal all prayers.' Here, the imagery of a 'black key' symbolizes a unique power or knowledge that comes from suffering and oppression. The act of closing all doors and sealing all prayers indicates a withdrawal from hope and divine intervention, suggesting that the speaker has taken control of their fate, albeit in a dark and isolating manner.
The final lines, 'Sed Qui me defendet? Ab me terribilissimo ipse,' meaning 'But who will defend me? From myself, the most terrible one,' reveal the internal conflict and fear that the speaker faces. Despite their outward defiance and self-reliance, there is an acknowledgment of their own inner demons and the terror they bring. This introspective question highlights the paradox of self-defense against one's own destructive tendencies, emphasizing the complexity of human emotions and the struggle for inner peace.