Pushing It Down and Praying
Lizzy McAlpine
The Inner Conflict of Love and Desire
Lizzy McAlpine's song "Pushing It Down and Praying" delves into the complex emotions of love, desire, and guilt. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of a woman who is physically with one person but emotionally and mentally entangled with another. The opening lines set a raw and intimate scene, where the protagonist is in bed with her partner, yet her mind drifts to someone else. This duality creates a sense of inner turmoil as she kisses her partner while praying he can't see the truth of her divided affections.
The chorus reveals her deep-seated conflict. She yearns to feel guilty and to recognize the wrongness of her actions, indicating a desire for moral clarity and peace. However, she is also caught in the throes of longing for the other person, who seems to fulfill her in ways her current partner cannot. This juxtaposition of stability and depth highlights the emotional complexity of her situation. The protagonist's struggle is not just about infidelity but also about the search for something more meaningful and fulfilling in her relationships.
As the song progresses, the protagonist's internal battle becomes more pronounced. She acknowledges the stability her current partner provides but is irresistibly drawn to the deeper connection she feels with the other person. The repeated line, "I'm pushing it down and praying," encapsulates her attempt to suppress these conflicting emotions and maintain the facade of a committed relationship. The song's raw honesty and emotional depth resonate with anyone who has experienced the pain of unfulfilled desires and the moral dilemmas that come with them.