The Struggle Against Expectations in 'Messy' by Lola Young

Lola Young's song 'Messy' is a visceral narrative that translates the complexities of interpersonal relationships and societal expectations. The lyrics reveal a constant struggle against external impositions, highlighting how these expectations can be contradictory and suffocating. For example, the line 'You told me: Get a job, then you ask where the hell I've been' reflects the hypocrisy of criticisms that demand change without acknowledging the efforts already made. This tension illustrates the paradox of trying to please everyone but never being enough, whether in a specific relationship or in a society that constantly demands more, yet is never satisfied.

Another striking aspect is the duality between being 'messy' and 'clean'—the artist exposes how criticisms oscillate between extremes, revealing the impossibility of meeting incoherent standards. The line 'Cause I'm too messy, and then I'm too fucking clean' encapsulates this frustration. Lola Young illustrates this struggle through everyday examples, like forgetting to fold clothes or smoking, showing that these flaws should not define a person’s worth. The duality also reflects the pressure society places on women, who are often judged for not fitting into rigid molds, while simultaneously being expected to behave impeccably.

The song also delves into a toxic relational dynamic, where reciprocity is absent. The line 'You hate it when I cry unless it's that time of the month' highlights the partner’s misogyny and lack of empathy, invalidating the protagonist's emotions unless they fit into stereotypes. This pattern reflects the frustration of being constantly misunderstood, both in an intimate relationship and in a society that labels and diminishes women’s emotions. The song conveys the central message that the fight for acceptance and respect is ongoing but often futile when others are unwilling to look beyond appearances or expectations.

The reference to 'pulling a Britney' adds a significant cultural layer to the song. Britney Spears, especially during the years of intense media and personal pressure, became a symbol of resistance against the oppression of social norms. By comparing herself to Britney, Lola Young evokes moments of emotional vulnerability and behaviors considered erratic, including substance use and episodes of mental breakdown. This reference not only alludes to a difficult period in Britney’s life but also symbolizes the struggle of many women who face overwhelming pressure to conform to impossible standards. The mention of the pop star underscores how people can be judged harshly during moments of fragility, especially when facing internal struggles that are not understood by those on the outside.

Finally, 'Messy' is a cry for authenticity and freedom. The artist rejects the idea that she must be perfect to be loved or respected. The chorus reinforces this rejection by stating that, even if she were 'a thousand people', meaning if she tried to adopt a thousand different versions of herself, she would still face criticism. The song is a powerful reminder that living according to others' expectations is unsustainable, and true strength lies in embracing who you are, with all your imperfections and contradictions.

With this song, Lola Young creates an emotional manifesto that resonates deeply, especially with those who have felt pressured to mold themselves to please others. 'Messy' not only questions these impositions but also celebrates the complexity of being human—something that deserves to be accepted and valued. By addressing both the dynamics of a specific relationship and broader societal expectations, the song becomes a powerful cry of resistance and an invitation to embrace authenticity, without fear of being imperfect.

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  1. Messy
  2. Conceited
  3. Big Brown Eyes
  4. So Sorry
  5. Don't Hate Me
  6. Wish You Were Dead
  7. Intrusive Thoughts
  8. Fuck
  9. Good Books
  10. Walk On By
View all Lola Young songs

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