Anti-Depressant

You know like sometimes man
I just, I just sit in my room, you know?
And just stare at the ceiling
Just trying to understand life, you know?
I'm tired of hurting, just wanna be a better person?

I'm sorry I'm not who I used to be
I guess I used to be a sucker for
Love but I promise ain't no more using me
I used to love you like it was two of me
But I really can't be mad because
I'm glad of what I grew to be
I guess that's how it goes usually
I write this eulogy for you and me
With these said stipulations
You know in order for you to grow
You have to stop watering dead situations
Even though in your heart you may feel sad inside
But that pain is only temporary
There's no need to agonize
One day you'll be glad it died
And satisfied knowing that you did
All that you can do, so what if nobody understands you
All that matters is that you learn to light your own candle
In other words, the light inside
So that when times get dark you
Can always see things on the brighter side
Because you have that light inside

I guess that's how it go, you know?
We live and we learn
We grow through, what we grow through
But don't let life break you
Don't let failed relationships make you harder
Because when you do you loose your happiness
You lose your sense of love and how to love
You know?
And create your own happiness
Happiness reliant on anybody others than yourself
Is only temporary, and love yourself
It's a cold world our here

Nobody really wants to be alone
And its human nature to be passionate
But when somebody continues to hurt you
Why do you accept them back again
Are you willing to sacrifice a few months
In exchange for your happiness
Maybe you're also afraid of being alone
And that's the only things that's stopping you
But its never too late or impossible to find love in solitude
I know it may bother you and inside of you it may
Feel like when doves cry
But sometimes it's more than okay for you to let go
And maybe let love die
And honestly sometimes I sit in my room
And I cry myself to sleep
Trying not to let these suicidal thoughts
Get the best of me, I really don't believe
Love and relationships are in my destiny
Because everybody that I've been with
Has made a complete mess of me
So I really don't think I have much left in me
I know God is only testing me
But I'm still here in this deep depression
I guess I didn't learn the first time and so
I have to repeat the lesson
You know, everything in life comes with a deeper message
But deep inside of me I'm still trying to fight the feelings
Of leaving this world even though I know I have a right to live it
This really can't be the life I'm living

And I remember that night so vivid
You left me in the street with blood in my eyes
Without a care in the world, like you had nothing inside
I guess that's what I get for trusting your lies

See man, like life is a roller coaster, I guess, you know?
But I guess its worth the ride
You know?
There's ups and downs, there's trials and tribulations
There's hurt, there's pain, and there is happiness
You know?
But all of this help us become better people
And we all have suicidal thoughts, at least in my world we do
In this world, there is no escape, the only escape is within you
You have to dig deep inside of you and find that thing that makes you happy
Find that thing that totally fulfill you in life
Because life is all about self fulfillment, no body else can fill your cup
It is up to you to fill your own cup
And that is the purpose of life
Self fulfillment and learning to love yourself
You know, we all go through the same things, I am no different from you
I am no different from you
Love is what binds us
It's unfortunate that those that say they love us
Prove otherwise through their actions
And that's when you have you separate yourself from all the negativity and all the toxic situations
And all the toxic relationships and work on you
Because at the end of the day man
And woman
It's all about you
It's all about you
Yeah, I pray for your healing
I pray for your happiness, all abundance
It's going to be okay