Idon'tknowwhoIambutthesexgoeson
Madmans Esprit
Exploring Identity and Desire in Madmans Esprit's 'Idon'tknowwhoIambutthesexgoeson'
Madmans Esprit's song 'Idon'tknowwhoIambutthesexgoeson' delves into the complex interplay between identity, desire, and self-perception. The lyrics are rich with metaphors and cultural references, creating a vivid tapestry that explores the fluidity of self and the impact of external perceptions on one's identity. The repeated lines '먹고 싶어 / 먹히고 싶어' (I want to eat / I want to be eaten) suggest a deep yearning for both dominance and submission, reflecting the duality of human nature and the struggle to define oneself through relationships with others.
The reference to '프로크루스테스의 침대' (Procrustes' bed) is particularly striking. In Greek mythology, Procrustes was a rogue smith and bandit who would stretch or amputate the limbs of his victims to make them fit his iron bed. This metaphor highlights the painful and often violent process of conforming to societal norms and expectations. The lyrics also mention 'Y와 X' (Y and X), symbolizing the binary nature of gender and the constraints it imposes on individual identity. The imagery of needles injecting thoughts into the brain and the journey through the mouth and anus to a hardened self further emphasizes the invasive and transformative nature of these societal pressures.
The song also touches on themes of bondage and self-harm, as seen in the lines '자학과 피학의 bondage' (bondage of self-harm and masochism). This suggests a complex relationship with pain and pleasure, where submission and domination are intertwined. The lyrics '복종이 주는 자유 / 굴복이 주는 권력' (the freedom given by obedience / the power given by submission) further explore this paradox, highlighting the ways in which power dynamics can shape one's sense of self. The song's exploration of identity is further complicated by the imagery of '오려 붙인 정체성' (cut-and-pasted identity) and '망막을 찌른 sexuality' (sexuality piercing the retina), suggesting a fragmented and constructed sense of self that is constantly being reshaped by external influences.
In the end, the song poses the existential questions '누가 너야?' (Who are you?) and '너는 누구야?' (Who are you?), leaving the listener to ponder the fluid and ever-changing nature of identity. The interplay of desire, power, and societal expectations creates a rich and thought-provoking narrative that challenges conventional notions of self and identity.