Leave me alone (내버려둬)

Madmans Esprit's song 'Leave me alone (내버려둬)' is a raw and visceral exploration of mental anguish and the desire for isolation. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of someone grappling with intense emotional pain and a sense of disconnection from the world around them. The repeated plea to be left alone underscores a desperate need for solitude, perhaps as a means of self-preservation or a way to escape the overwhelming feelings of hurt and confusion.

The song delves into themes of disassociation and the toxicity of one's environment. Lines like 'I'm disassociating from myself and the world' and 'I'm trying to breathe but the air became toxic' suggest a profound sense of alienation and suffocation. The imagery of a 'friendly knife' pulling the narrator out of themselves is a stark metaphor for self-harm, indicating a struggle with suicidal thoughts as a way to escape the unbearable pain. The repetition of '내버려둬' (leave me alone) in the chorus amplifies the urgency and desperation of the narrator's plea.

The lyrics also touch on the internal battle with mental health, as seen in phrases like 'I'm drowning in serotonin' and 'suffocating in my own brain.' These lines highlight the paradox of feeling overwhelmed by both the lack and excess of serotonin, a chemical often associated with mood regulation. The mention of 'a thousand maggots wriggling in my stomach' evokes a visceral sense of disgust and decay, symbolizing the narrator's inner turmoil and self-loathing. The song's haunting and repetitive nature mirrors the cyclical and relentless nature of mental illness, making 'Leave me alone (내버려둬)' a poignant and powerful expression of suffering and the desperate need for relief.