By The Time That I Awoke
Mark Kozelek
I like the powder blue dresses
The stewardesses wear on Korean Air
The skin's divine and their bodies so fine
They're all the same height and they have the same waistline
But there is one who stood apart
Her name-tag read JH Park
She had a white watch and a muted spark
And I thought about her when the night grew dark
And my hotel room in Tokyo
And by the time that I awoke
My guitar was broken and in need of repair
Thanks for the hassle, Korean Air
But I hurled myself through one last show
And I made a few friends, Shoko and Koko
Walked them down to the train station below
Hugged them goodbye and as I walked back I
Remembered a girl who I had lost
She grew up in a cardboard box
In a town called Dharma
She shook my spirit and she rattled my thoughts
But I had some love back home
So I never pursued it or called her telephone number
I wonder if she knew that I had reason
I wonder if she thought that I had used her
And by the time that I awoke
Around my neck I felt fingers choke
I felt a jolt of an electrical sting
I felt the pull of an invisible string
Is it my future falling?
Or is it the past still calling?
I can't remember and you can't make me remember
Anything that hurts or makes me shiver
I can't remember and you can't make me remember
My dirty reflection shimmering in the rain
I can't remember and you can't make me remember
Old forgotten blues that we opened my house
I can't remember and you can't make me remember
I can't remember and you can't make me remember
Was five years old the last time I slept
A quiet night before the loudness crept
I wrote poetry throughout my teens
And I far exceeded my childhood dreams
Teachers told me I couldn't write
That I'd never make a living or touch anyone's life
People told me I couldn't sing
That I wouldn't amount to much of anything
And by the time that I awoke
I was 25 years old and crossing oceans
Working hard to develop my sound
Going city to city, covering ground
And by the time that I had awoke
I was one of a handful of the chosen
To take the punches to take the arrows
To bleed the blood, the blood of sweat
I can't remember and you can't make me remember
Any hurtful words that I endured
I can't remember and you can't make me remember
When I was a lost flockless bird
I can't remember and you can't make me remember
When I couldn't trap bumblebees
I can't remember and you can't make me remember
Why in a crowd I am so lonely
I met the most beautiful lover
Walking along the San Francisco Bay
She guides me through the perils
Through the long, unlit hallways
Below the surface, beneath the distractions
Beneath my dumb, knee-jerk reactions
It's to her I owe everything
It is for her that my heart sings
And by the time that I awoke
The fingers loosened on their choke
And by the time that I awoke