I Used to Love Him (feat. Ms. Lauryn Hill)

Mary J. Blige's song 'I Used to Love Him,' featuring Ms. Lauryn Hill, is a poignant narrative of love, loss, and self-discovery. The lyrics delve into the emotional turmoil and eventual empowerment of a woman who has endured a toxic relationship. Blige reflects on her past, acknowledging the mistakes and sacrifices she made for a man who ultimately did not value her. The metaphor of the man being the ocean and her being the sand illustrates how overwhelming and consuming the relationship was, leaving her feeling eroded and diminished.

The song's narrative arc moves from a place of pain and confusion to one of clarity and strength. Blige describes how she was 'addicted to love like the drug of a fiend,' highlighting the destructive nature of her attachment. She reaches a crossroads, symbolizing a critical moment of decision and change. The turning point comes when she realizes that what she thought she needed was not truly beneficial for her. This epiphany is further emphasized by the advice she ignored from her mother, which she now recognizes as wisdom she should have heeded.

The final verses of the song are a testament to Blige's spiritual and emotional rebirth. She credits her faith and the guidance of a higher power for her transformation. The imagery of 'the sweet dawn' arriving out of darkness signifies a new beginning. Blige's newfound understanding of love as 'respect and devotion' contrasts sharply with her previous experience. She takes back her power and soul, reclaiming her life and identity. The song ends on a note of contentment and closure, as Blige acknowledges that part of her life is finished and she is now in control of her destiny.