I'm Still Trying

Matthew Fowler's song "I'm Still Trying" is a poignant exploration of memory, loss, and the ongoing struggle to find closure. The lyrics are steeped in nostalgia, as the narrator reflects on past relationships and the emotional weight they carry. The opening lines, "My mind it sings of the memories / How they tug and cling," set the tone for a journey through the corridors of the past, where every memory is vivid and palpable. The imagery of touching the past and feeling the heavy air evokes a sense of being trapped in a time that is both distant and ever-present.

The song delves into specific memories, such as being "traded for a cigarette" and sharing a bed with an older friend, which hint at moments of betrayal and loss of innocence. These experiences have left a lasting impact, leading the narrator to yearn for closure that seems elusive. The refrain, "I'm still trying," underscores the ongoing effort to make sense of these memories and the emotions they stir. The narrator's struggle is further highlighted by their difficulty in maintaining current relationships, as seen in the lines, "Why I barely call / Why I'm short with you."

As the song progresses, it shifts to a more reflective tone, acknowledging the passage of time and the changes it brings. The narrator speaks of learning that "all the bonds you build either live or die" and the necessity of carving away pride to heal. The memories of being called "brother" and sharing heartfelt moments with a sibling add layers of depth to the narrative, illustrating the complexity of familial relationships. The song closes with a tender recollection of the grief shared with their mother, encapsulating the bittersweet nature of looking back while still trying to move forward.