Holding On To Smoke

Motionless In White's song 'Holding On To Smoke' delves deep into the internal struggle of self-identity and the battle against personal demons. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of someone grappling with feelings of numbness and disconnection from their true self. The opening lines, 'I'm tired of feeling comatose / I've lost the me that I loved most,' set the tone for a journey of self-discovery and the fight to reclaim one's identity. The metaphor of 'holding on to smoke' suggests a sense of futility and the difficulty of grasping something intangible and elusive.

The song explores themes of addiction and the cyclical nature of self-destructive behavior. Lines like 'I'm not addicted but I'm not clean / Why do I do this to myself on repeat' highlight the protagonist's awareness of their harmful habits and the struggle to break free from them. The dichotomy of being 'man or machine' reflects the internal conflict between human vulnerability and the desire to be emotionless and detached. This struggle is further emphasized by the recurring question of whether the protagonist is truly living or merely existing.

Despite the dark and introspective themes, the song also carries a message of resilience and self-determination. The chorus, 'In all my pride, all my shame / I find strength enough to show you / I may bend but I won't break / 'Cause I define who I become,' serves as a powerful declaration of the protagonist's resolve to overcome their struggles and shape their own destiny. The repeated assertion of 'I define who I become' underscores the importance of self-empowerment and the belief that one can rise above their circumstances.

The song's emotional intensity is amplified by the band's signature blend of heavy instrumentals and raw, passionate vocals. Motionless In White's ability to convey deep, personal struggles through their music resonates with listeners who may be facing similar battles. 'Holding On To Smoke' is a poignant reminder of the importance of self-awareness, resilience, and the ongoing journey to find and reclaim one's true self.