I Miss The Mountains

In the song "I Miss The Mountains" from the musical *Next to Normal*, Diana, the protagonist, reflects on her past and the emotional highs and lows she once experienced. The lyrics convey a deep sense of nostalgia and longing for a time when she felt more alive, despite the chaos and pain that came with it. Diana reminisces about her 'wild girl' days, a period marked by intense emotions and a sense of freedom that she now feels is missing from her life. This contrast between her past and present highlights her struggle with mental health and the impact of medication that has left her feeling numb and disconnected.

The mountains in the song serve as a powerful metaphor for Diana's emotional landscape. The 'dizzy heights' and 'dark, depressing nights' represent the manic and depressive episodes she used to experience. While these times were challenging, they also made her feel more alive and connected to her true self. The 'climbing' and 'falling' symbolize the unpredictable nature of her emotions, which, despite their intensity, gave her life a sense of meaning and authenticity. Now, in her current state of emotional flatness, she feels that everything is 'balanced' and 'perfect,' but also 'nothing's real.' This dichotomy underscores the theme of the song: the trade-off between emotional stability and the loss of genuine, albeit tumultuous, experiences.

Diana's yearning for the mountains is also a yearning for her identity and the essence of who she is. The 'wild wind' and 'stinging snow' are not just physical sensations but representations of the raw, unfiltered emotions she misses. Her current life, described as 'safe and sound,' lacks the depth and intensity that once defined her. This sense of loss is poignantly captured in the repeated refrain, 'I miss my life,' emphasizing that her true self is tied to the emotional extremes she once navigated. The song beautifully captures the complexity of mental health, the impact of treatment, and the profound sense of loss that can accompany the quest for stability.