Calling and Not Calling My Ex

Okkervil River's song "Calling and Not Calling My Ex" delves into the bittersweet memories and lingering emotions of a past relationship. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of a love that once was, now only a distant memory. The protagonist reflects on the time spent with his ex, recalling specific moments like walking through the pines on Christmas Eve and the juxtaposition of his own struggles with her rising success. The imagery of her smile in a glossy magazine and her commanding presence as a famous figure highlights the stark contrast between their current lives.

The song captures the essence of nostalgia and regret, as the protagonist grapples with the reality of their separation. He acknowledges the mixture of jealousy and fear that arises when he thinks about her, and the distance that has grown between them over the years. The lyrics convey a sense of longing and resignation, as he waits for another indistinguishable day to arrive, knowing that she won't be waiting for him in some secluded stand of trees on Christmas Eve.

The emotional depth of the song is further emphasized by the protagonist's internal conflict. He feels proud of her achievements but also stupid for having ever said goodbye. The lyrics reveal his vulnerability as he watches her from a distance, reminiscing about the times they shared and the pain of their parting. The repeated refrain of "go break their hearts" serves as both a recognition of her power and a poignant reminder of his own heartbreak. Okkervil River masterfully captures the complexity of love, loss, and the passage of time in this evocative and introspective song.