why i am alive

OR3O's song 'why i am alive' delves deep into the emotional turmoil of someone grappling with intense feelings of self-loathing and despair. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of a person who feels trapped in their own mind, unable to find joy or even the release of tears. The opening lines, 'Sometimes I don't wanna try / I can't seem to smile, I can't seem to cry,' set the tone for a narrative of profound inner conflict and a sense of hopelessness. The singer apologizes for their feelings, acknowledging the burden they place on others, and expresses a desire to be left alone, highlighting the isolating nature of their pain.

The chorus reveals a crucial turning point in the song, where the protagonist's love for others becomes a lifeline. Despite their overwhelming desire to give up and escape their suffering, they recognize that doing so would only transfer their pain to those they care about. 'I may hate myself / But I still love you / Even if my pain's gone / It'll only pass on back to you,' they sing, illustrating the selfless love that keeps them tethered to life. This juxtaposition of self-hatred and love for others creates a powerful emotional tension, underscoring the complexity of their struggle.

In the final verse, the singer acknowledges the depth of their hurt and the seemingly insurmountable challenge of healing. Yet, they also express a glimmer of hope and determination to keep trying, driven by the love they receive and give. The closing lines, 'Maybe one day I'll love me too,' suggest a faint but significant possibility of self-acceptance and healing in the future. OR3O's poignant lyrics and emotive delivery make 'why i am alive' a compelling exploration of the interplay between self-doubt, love, and the will to persevere.