How To Be Me (feat. Chinchilla)

Ren's song 'How To Be Me,' featuring Chinchilla, delves deep into the turmoil of losing one's sense of self amidst overwhelming mental and emotional struggles. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of a person grappling with inner demons, haunted by voices and visions that make them feel unsafe even in their own bed. The mention of talking to the dead and the fear that 'baptized' them suggests a profound sense of despair and isolation. The imagery of a kingdom turning to dust and riches rusting symbolizes the loss of everything once held dear, questioning whether the protagonist's sadness has blinded them to their former glory.

The recurring lines 'Over and over we go' and 'It follows me, follows me home' emphasize the relentless nature of these struggles, as if they are inescapable and suffocating. The protagonist's inability to breathe signifies the overwhelming pressure and anxiety they feel, leading to the poignant realization that they have forgotten how to be themselves. This loss of identity is further highlighted by the haunting scenes described in the halls, with bruises on the walls and bodies in the floors, creating a sense of being trapped in a nightmarish reality.

The repeated cries of 'Hallelujah' juxtaposed with the questions 'Where is my God, where are you?' and 'Nothing is pulling me through' reflect a desperate search for salvation and meaning. The song culminates in a poignant memory of someone who gave up the fight, leaving a lasting impact on the protagonist's life. This final verse underscores the enduring pain of loss and the struggle to find oneself amidst the shadows of grief and despair. 'How To Be Me' is a powerful exploration of mental health, identity, and the search for hope in the darkest of times.