Suic*de

Ren's song "Suic*de" is a raw and poignant exploration of the depths of despair, loneliness, and the aftermath of losing someone to suicide. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of the emotional turmoil and the sense of helplessness that accompanies such a tragic event. The recurring refrain, "Oh I, oh I, oh I've / Fallen through the cracks of the night sky / A light goes out on the other side / Suicide, suicide, suicide," encapsulates the feeling of being lost in the darkness and the irreversible impact of a loved one's death.

The verses delve deeper into the personal struggles of the narrator, who grapples with feelings of loneliness, self-loathing, and a sense of being out of place. Lines like "I'm so fucking lonely beneath this / Narcissistic, can't keep a secret / Miscount sheep, I can't sleep, a misfit" highlight the internal battles and the difficulty of finding solace. The mention of bruises and counterfeit skin suggests a sense of physical and emotional numbness, further emphasizing the narrator's detachment from reality.

The song also touches on the broader theme of existential pain and the search for meaning in a seemingly indifferent world. The lines "It's hard to take off from the ground when your wings are cut / Your stomach burns when you're drinking from an empty cup" use powerful metaphors to convey the struggle of trying to rise above one's circumstances when feeling utterly depleted. The reference to Fibonacci sequences and double dutch adds a layer of complexity, hinting at the narrator's attempt to find order and beauty amidst chaos.

In the final verses, Ren reflects on the loss of a friend and the enduring impact it has had on his life. The vivid imagery of locking away his youth and dumping it over the bridge symbolizes the end of innocence and the beginning of a lifelong struggle with grief. The heartfelt lines "I fucking miss you and I miss myself / I miss thinking that we were indestructible as well" capture the profound sense of loss and the longing for a time when life felt simpler and more secure. The song ends on a note of unresolved pain, with the narrator expressing his enduring love and sorrow for his lost friend.